Im going to be christian again. it was so much easier being stupid and hopeing redemption was real. repentance only makes you weak. I dont want death. I only want an escape that i so that i can feel again and be happy without consecuince, Smile without some sort of joke or force behind it, here someone say i love you when things arnt all wrong and messed up like its some sort of consequince. Say I love you once. when everythings alright and Ill do the same 100 times over. Maybe you like this all but its killing me. memories and the past never seem to leave. though i dont care for the people its more the fear of it happening again. I am who i am, does that mean I cant be who i want to be? I guess it means a worm can never be a butterfly.

Relient K
Be My Escape Lyrics

I've given up,
I'm giving up slowly,
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last body you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
cause I know to live you must give your life away
And I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
all while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because
I-I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I-I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape

I'm giving up
I'm doing this alone now
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because
I-I gotta get outta here
Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake *yeah*
I-I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave

Cause I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
That might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because

I-I've gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

I-I've gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my escape

I've known you for so long
I should've let you in
oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was
Save my own skin
But so were you
So were you...